Day 5 of 30 Day Challenges
The blog series in which I am completing my challenge from 30dayblogchallenge.com!
As well as a self-made challenge inspired by Abraham Hicks in which I self-soothe myself through negative emotion.
At the end of this 30 day journey I intend to be more fully on my life’s path, “all systems go.”
Welcome back. Let’s begin.
Today was about a clearing of energy. At least an attempt in that direction. Let me explain.
A sixty-four year old man punched me recently and keyed my car. I won’t go into the whole why and who, that’s not the point of what I am getting at.
What I am getting at is my response to this event in my life. Was I traumatized? No. Did the scene replay in my head a bunch of times for the following days and weeks? Yes, I did think about it quite a lot.
Still do at times. I would rather not if I could help it. And I know it’s possible to stop recalling it.
Except it doesn’t help that every time I walk up to my car, which is multiple times a day, I see the scratch mark he planted on the back driver’s side door.
And it’s extensive. It curves under the door handle and swoops up and down towards the front of the car. A big angry, sideways “S,” reminding me of an old man’s rage towards me.
1: Attempts to Fix
So I went first to get a quick fix at a parts store. No luck. Just the very minor sratch parts were slightly diminished.
Then I ordered a touch-up paint from my dealership. Took a week to ship to the dealer and then another to find myself in that direction so I could pick it up.
I finally got it today and tried it eagerly. All this time I’d been counting on a solution to spunging out the angry mark on my car.
I spent an hour at it. Limited first time luck with it. Then nothing but struggle.
An hour of pushing and smushing the paint pen, hoping the ink would actually come out and fill the crack, thereby relieving the angry wound.
Grr, I just didn’t get it to work for me. And I even feel like I made it worse, made it somehow more noticeable and messy looking. Good grief. Went inside and vented my feelings to my understanding girlfriend for a minute.
Suddenly all the memory of the night it happened came back to me in a big way. I just wanted to punch something to release the feeling. So I took the recycling out and found some empty gallons of milk. Smashed them! Smashed them with angry feet. Felt… sort of helpful…
2: Moving On, Soothing
Anyways, I decided after coming back inside that I wasn’t going to hold on to the anger anymore. I usually would have gone on raging about it. Maybe the rest of the night and into the next day. But I just let it go. I just let it go. Easy self-soothe.
I realized first that I have never done touch-up paint on a car and that I shoulder be easy on myself. And two I figured it was just a part of my resolution in this situation. Of moving past the negative crap in my life. Especially the crap I got from the negative people whose bad influence was keeping me stifled and small. Like that angry old man.
I am done with angry, condemning people. What’s the use of it? Condemnation. Curses. Judgement. Anger. Hate. All such negative feeling crap to put on someone.
But you know what’s really ironic?
The one being condemned, judged, or hated on can easily move past the feelings and live without any repurcussions from that energy.
Can the one condemning or hating say the same? Are they not stuck in that emotion, of their own choosing, their own volition?
Judgement of another ties you to that person and that expression towards them. It makes you prisoner to that energy of judgement, which must be held to be true if it is held at all.
3: An Appropriate Artistic Healing
I was editing vocals for a song about just that very thing. Track 5. On my fifth day of this blog. A song singing the key lyrics, “Damn you!”
Now, it’s not so much damning the listener… rather the epithet is adressing the feelings created by being condemned, by being damned by others. In other words, the damnation that comes from people, structures and institutions that are built to condemn in their own ways.
Many institutions may condemn. God bless the church but it sure condemns when it wants to. The law keeps us save but also condemns. Parents may love us dearly but do so condemn. Even our schools that teach us condemn us in ways.
This song is recognizing that very duality. Learning that these institutions and structures, and the agents and people who propagate them, offer great lessons and blessings that are also of God. At the same time there is the contrast of the painful condemnation that can be put forth by these institutions and structures and people. Institutions built in the past.
The past is being released.
Do this with me now.:
Release the need to condemn. Release the need to hate. Release the need to be in judgement. Release the need to war with your fellow human beings. These feelings an actions only keep you, the hater, out of the vibratory field of love.
It is time to move past hate and condemnation to love. And that is exactly what the following track on the album, track 6, does, that blessed piece that I imagine could be the big hit number, or one of… Track 6 claims this:
”Life gets a little bit better, every day, just like our love gets stronger in every way.”
Love is the answer. Love will show us the way. Love is all there is. All you need is love. Love, love, love. You’ve heard it all before.
So I self-soothed through anger and negative emotions, released my past, and accepted the lessons I was being given. Even the humbling experience of my poor job doing the touch-up paint on my car. And I returned to love.
And I blogged. And I still wait still for help from IT…
Please, help me move forward with the challenge! I would love to see the next phase.
Ok. All for now. Big takeaway from today’s post:
Stop condemning!
Whether it’s about something you did, or someone who did something to you, or anything. This energy is only hurting you, yourself and you.
True, it can have major implications to someone being condemned.
But at the end of the day it is far easier for the one being condemned to simply to shrug off it off.
It may be another thing altogether for you to let go of your need to condemn others.
As you know yourself and your own worth, and your worth in the eyes of God, no condemnation can touch you. It simply does not resonate.
And there is no need to condemn.
All is love.
Blessings to you all.
Matthew