YTZ#03:

Let’s See

I have a whole list of topics ready for discussion.

Yet none of them are calling me right now.

What is calling me is this pit in my stomach.

This feeling that I am lost.

Have you ever had that feeling?

What do you do in moments like that?

I mean, I can rationalize that most moments in my life do not feel like this, it will pass.

But when you feel so down in the dumps, it can be hard to see yourself out.

Out from that pit in your stomach that you just don’t feel good.

What is getting you down?

I have heard it put many ways.

Depression is caused by chemicals in the brain, right?

Or some just tell you to snap out of it, as if there were some magic switch inside that turns from sad to happy.

I like Abraham Hicks’ version of it: that when you feel down and depressed it is simply because you have pinched yourself off from the eternal love of source, the universe, all that is.

God if you will.

I should know, I have been there

 

Yes, I spent many years without God in my life.

Why?

I didn’t buy it anymore. The religion thing. It didn’t add up. Didn’t sell me. Didn’t complete me.

And I thought I could do just fine with secular morals and no God to watch over me, just myself.

Morals are good. I was still a nice guy. And I did take care of myself. Mostly.

But I was down quite a bit. Quite a lot of years in fact.

And I was not thriving or successful.

So what did I do?

 

Well, I am still doing it, truth be told.

I am reclaiming a presence of God in my life. A God who loves and watches over me and cares for me. It has helped tremendously.

Every day I reclaim more faith in a God of love, and when I’m in that love, I’m there, feeling it.

When I am tuned in I feel just Iike Abraham suggests. I feel exuberant and creative and joyful and excited about the future.

But there are times when I still drop

 

I will admit, my lows are not like they used to be.

Firstly, they are extremely infrequent. And not nearly as low or intense.

And I get out of them much easier. Usually within minutes of seeing my thoughts go that way.

Sometimes I need more of a push. Tonight I needed to write about it.

I don’t even know what happened

Yea, I’ve been feeling great. Better and better in fact. For months and months, feeling better.

So what happened tonight?

The word that keeps buzzing through my head is “overwhelmed.”

I have been feeling so overwhelmed with so many things that I am trying to figure out in my life right now. Too many to list.

Maybe it was just pent up energy. Maybe the quarter moon phase was drawing out some emotions.

But anyways, a sinkful of tears later and a lot of that downward momentum has subsided. The writing of this has also helped

And I had to remind myself that it’s ok to be on the journey towards my goals. They do not just happen in the blink of an eye, no matter how much I’d like them too.

I have to keep faith, keep plugging along, keep lifting myself above the darkness that seeks to drag me into it.

 

So back to the light

I wrote just days ago about creating our own personal hells in our minds and in our lives.

I know I have been a self-perpetuating victim of that. In the past. I don’t want that anymore.

So I spoke of healing it with the light.

And I sat tonight in a beam of light. And I continue to call the light. And I connect to the light through my words.

And I write the light.

I hope you like what I write.

I have no answers but the tales that I tell and the insight they may provide.

Trust in yourselves. Trust in the light. Trust that things will work out.

And remember that you are where you are. It is a process. There are always more lessons. There is always more to do. You can grow as you go.

Trust that it’s all for the best.

Be at peace.

 

Thank you for reading.

 

Please leave comments if anything in this post resonated with you. And share with any who may need some reminders in this area.

Blessings to you,

Matthew