EA#12:
Read From the Beginning or the start of Trial Two
The Mountain in the Clouds, Part Fifteen
“
Joy.
That’s my next trial.
Doesn’t sound like a trial… What challenge is this? To feel sad in order to know joy better?
My host wouldn’t explain.
And I did want a break.
Angie, from the city in the mountain in the clouds and my host in my challenges of ascension, was before me. We were back on the other side of the portal back from Titanton in Neverwhere, which was a made-up place of magic, it seemed, where I was being tested on my abilities to overcome whatever hardships or lesson are presented to me.
“Welcome back to Mitstarhomvalla,” she decried, waving her hands across her in a wide arc, indicating the city and all its inhabitants. “Congratulations on your second triumph!”
A number of winged men and women all around cheered and applauded.
I nodded to a few of them in appreciation. “Your city has a lovely name. But it’s a bit of a mouthful to say. Do you mind if I call it Starhome?”
My host smiled, “Of course. You are not the only one to do so. Here comes another” she indicated with her head in the direction behind me.
When I turned I saw my friend walking toward me. I hadn’t seen him much since first arriving, when he had carried me on his back and flown me to this place.
“Troy, my friend!” he bellowed warmly.
“Jaran!” I called back and as we met we embraced in a firm hug and gave strong pats on each other’s backs. “Ah, it’s good to see you again.”
“You, too,” my stout friend said. “Well done on your trials, thus far. Will you take a respite now?”
“I was hoping to soak in a warm bath,” I answered. “My whole body is aching from being handled by that giant, Gumpelthwomp.”
“Haha,” laughed Jaran. “What a name. So you seek the bathhouse? I could use a soak in the hot springs myself. Why don’t we walk that way together. You can tell me all about your harrowing adventure.”
And so we did walk, and I did talk of my adventure in Neverwhere. I told him of my trial of discernment and how I had bested the maze. And I recanted the terrifying yet comical tale of the giants and my test of strength.
Jaran listened intently, as he had always done. His eyebrows had this tendency to furrow, his head would cock down and towards me as we walked, giving me his full attention. He nodded often, verbally agreed at times and occasionally chuckled at my stories.
We left that plaza, that place that seemed to be the heart of my testing ground where Angie portaled me back and forth to my trials. We went down a set of marble steps and past a long colonnade that didn’t want to end.
And there were other strong structures and beautiful forms throughout our walk. Columns and walls and arches. Between them lay green lawns lined with pear and fig trees, or spruce and pine. The smells were sweet and savory at once and hung in the air, tickling the hairs of my nose a face.
As we walked some of the locals passing by offered me smiles and deep bows of respect. If I didn’t know better it’d seem I had already completed all seven of my trials, yet five still loomed ahead.
And now that I have some experience of it, I was beginning to have a more apprehension around what was to come. Even the next one, joy… though the theme sounded benign enough, I had a feeling that it was not going to feel so joyous during my crossing of the next threshold.
Ah, but all that aside, for now… Time to relax.
We arrived at the bathhouse and were greeted by pleasant aromas: lavender, orange peel, cardamom, patchouli, and myrrh. There seemed a hint of vanilla and maybe even a sprinkle of frankincense. It was a warm mix with deep notes and both pleased the senses and calmed the mind. I was instantly transported to a higher place of my being, not my body, but to my soul. I was already beginning to unwind.
The sounds contributed to that effect as well. There were noises of soft, soothing water all throughout the spa: the trickling of waterfalls; the drippings of little channels and rivulets of water creeping along the edges of all the walls and rooms around us.
Only they weren’t exactly rooms. They were open air baths, with steam flitting about the airs above. Thin lawns traipsed up and down the lengths and widths alongside pools.
At the time there was not too much activity. Only a handful of patrons were relaxing in the waters. Some were just climbing out, anxiety dripping away from them as they reached for their towels to dry off.
I could get used to this sort of thing. If it didn’t have to come at the cost of being almost squashed by giants or nearly slashed to bits by a blade trap…
Well, I’m here now. I might as well get comfortable and let go as I can.
“Oh,” Jaran stopped himself short. “I just recalled, I needed to get something delivered in short order. I was on my way before you invited me here. I will have to return when I have completed my task. Please enjoy your stay until I return.”
“Oh, ok,” I stuttered, a bit surprised. “Well, I’ll see you soon.”
My friend hurried out of the bathhouses back the way we had come. It wasn’t like him to be forgetful, I mused. But we all have our days.
Ah, his loss. For now, I relax.
I entered the drapery room and placed my few belongings, shoes, shirt, pants and belt, into a cubby made of pure silk. With only my loincloth and a towel, I returned to the heated baths in the hot springs.
I placed my towel by the edge of the pool and eased my toes into the water. It was refreshing, but at first a bit shocking to my pain receptors. When the nerves adjusted to the heat, I continued to place my feet and ankles in.
A moment later my legs and knees were joining, then my thighs, hips and waist. At this point I paused to let my body continue to warm up to the heated pool.
The odors of essential oils wafted past me again, mixing with the steam of the springs and opening all of my pores. I leaned against the edge of the pool, which was surprisingly comfortable for marble.
Water noises continued to pitter around me and put my ears to rest as well, followed by my brain. I sank lower into the hot, soothing waters until I was up to my chin. My head felt heavy where it lay on the edge of the bath.
I had my, ‘ah!’ moment then. The moment at which you feel complete relaxation in body and mind. You almost can’t stop yourself from letting out a little noise like that classic vowel sound of release, ‘ah!.’
My mind drifted off. It left my body.
It heard these words:
I am who I am claiming I am.
I was in the clouds. The air was light and the sun barely setting. Purples and pinks merged with deep blues.
I was walking forwards, lazy step by lazy step, towards the cloud in front of me. It was a big billowy one with rounded steps curling up the side of it.
On top of the cloud there was a seat. A small, golden throne sat there on a red and gold rug that was no bigger than the chair itself.
I was drawn to air walk towards it, found my grip on its arms and sat down with minor effort. My hands lay comfortably on top of rounded protrusions that looked and felt like gems. A green emerald on the left and purple amethyst on the right.
My skull touched the headrest where another crystal, a yellow citrine, was fashioned so that it cupped my cranium.
The voice in my head continued:
Listen, dear one. You are well on your way. You are climbing out of the depths. You are leaving the darkness behind. You are being drawn towards the light. You are becoming more light every step of the way. You are doing very well. You are well provided for. You are connected to your source. You are blessed beyond measure. You are being called to a greater good.
Release your fears. Release your worries. Release you doubts. Release any anxiety. Release any feelings of condemnation that may still cling to you. Release judgements cast upon you that do not reflect who you know yourself to be today.
You are a worthy creation. And you are worthy of all that you desire. And you are worthy of love.
Remember these words, dear one. Remember to listen. Remember to love.
Remember this claim: “I am who I am claiming I am.”
And then the vision stopped abruptly. I splashed my hands in surprise, opening my eyes to see a radiant beauty before me.
Her face was so full of love and calm. She smiled and reached out her hands to me. I didn’t realize it until now, but my head had slipped underwater and I was just coming out of it, flailing wildly in the middle of the pool.
I grabbed her soft palms with my outstretched fingers and she clung to me tightly. As I came to my senses, I remembered to extend my feet again and stand in the water, calming myself back to composure.
“I guess I must have dozed off. It’s not like I’m used to nearly drowning myself at the baths…” I said awkwardly. “Thanks. Thanks for your help.”
The woman smiled again, sun shining brightly behind her so that I had to squint to look up at her.
“It’s alright,” she said. “You’re ok. I’ve got you. Everything’s going to be alright.”
The longer she spoke, the more a bell of recognition was going off in my mind. My pupils constricted more as I adjusted to the light and I looked more closely at her. Something familiar…
“Gods!” I called out in amazement. “Maniea! My love!” I reached out to embrace her and asked, “How are you here?”
Only I was met by nothing. I touched nothing, and there was no one there before me. She was gone.
“What is this cruel trick!? My next trial has not begun yet. I am simply trying to rest! Why torture me with this vision, gods?” I rued my makers.
But I heard her voice call to me: “I will see you soon, my love.”
It was bittersweet but soothing to hear those words. I wanted to see her now. But that’s only because I hadn’t expected to see her at all. In fact, I hadn’t fully expected to see her again, ever. But to hear her tell me that I will see her soon… Now all I wanted was just that.
Damn, I thought to myself, I suppose this is going to be some trial in seeking joy… And I don’t seem to be getting a real break, quite yet…
“
Thanks so much for reading.
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Blessings to you,
Matthew