EA#19:
Read From the Beginning or the start of Trial Two or Three
The Mountain in the Clouds, Part Twenty-Two
“
I am trusting…
I am letting go…
I am falling…
I am lifting…
I am sleeping…
I am waking………..
Just like that. My dream was at an end. I was awake in my room. It was still night. Though it didn’t feel right. How could that have happened in one night? I suppose dreams are funny that way.
I looked around me. There was nothing much to see. My clothes on the floor. The sheets on the bed. The window, a dark sky. A handful of books.
I don’t remember the books. The books.
What is it about books that brings me such joy?
Joy. That’s right. I had a dream about joy. But it wasn’t a dream. It was a trial of my ascension. And I think I passed it. I believe I learned the lesson. Yet there was no one to congratulate me this time. There was no medal, no assurance of a deed being done.
Maybe there was a shift in consciousness, part of my inner voice whispered.
I suppose I was looking for something more solid to know that I had accomplished the goal. Whatever the goal had been. To claim joy in my life. Or to better understand joy and what it means to be in joy.
Perhaps I was merely groggy, having just woken up. And it was a fitful sort of sleep, what with all the dreaming and activity. Somehow, though, I still felt rested and my body was no longer sore.
I lifted myself out of the bed. I crossed the floor. I lifted the first book I came across. A large tome that had fallen askew among a line of several books. It seemed they’d all jumped off the nearby shelf.
The book had a title but it was unreadable. It looked like a runish language, and I had never been able to learn that like I had wished. I felt my fingers across the binding, old and thick. There was a golden ribbon coming off the spine that was slipped neatly into one of the pages.
I flipped to the page.
I saw a figure there, drawn on an empty white page. The figure stood upon a ledge and looked down, as if expecting to see something. But there was a hesitancy to the figure, unsure of what to do.
There was nothing else there. That was it.
What is this? I mused.
I flipped through more of the book. But there was nothing else there. Faded runish writing covered every page. And I could not make out anything else.
I went back to the page I had first witnessed. It was gone! More runish letters.
Gods help me, I thought. I must be going crazy for sure now.
No you’re not, a voice told me.
Ok, at least the voices in my head are convinced that I am not going crazy.
Well, I might just need a bite to eat. An empty stomach can have a funny effect on the mind.
To my surprise I located a fresh, blazing red apple sitting on the shelf to my side. I reached up, brushed it off a bit, and took a bite. It was extremely satisfying, crisp and juicy. I gobbled it up.
I turned back to the tome I had found for one last pique of curiosity. It was open wide, turned to a couple pages in the center of the book. And there was a new image before me. It was the baths of Starhome. And I was in the water with my eyes closed. A ghostly visage of Maniea was standing above me, leaning in as if to whisper in my ear.
I am here.
The sound of her voice then, clear as day, was unsettling only because it was unexpected. But it was wonderful to hear. I was soothed beyond measure. And I was inspired.
I found myself making my way back to the bath house. In the middle of the night. With all the denizens of Starhome asleep.
The aromas filled my nostrils with calming energies and the steamy, hot water set my mind at ease as my body soaked.
It was quiet, but for the soft sound of water trickling through a system of channels along the walls of the spa. At times a small chorus of crickets piped in, but that sound has always soothed me, too.
Above I saw stars peek through a light layer of clouds. And a quarter moon glowed brilliantly over the horizon.
Nothing at all felt wrong in that time I spent there, basking in the ease of it all. Though I was hoping for another visit from my love.
I’m not sure how long I was there. It could have been an hour, maybe more. In any case, I believe I nearly drifted off to sleep before being disturbed by a familiar voice.
“You’re not going to need saving from drowning again, are you?” Angie commented. I looked to see her softly gliding towards me in a moonlit robe that looked like it was made of clouds.
“Oh, I am not planning on drowning tonight,” I said, bringing myself more upright in the water. “I have too many questions.”
“I am sure you do,” Angie smiled. “But it is not a time for questions. It is a time for answers. You will have plenty of questions to contend with shortly.”
“What do you mean?” I began to say.
“Ah, ah, no questions,” she waved a finger at me. “We know what you want to hear.”
It was strange then. Something about her changed in that statement. A quality of her voice. The way she said it, like there was really a “we” present within her. Like there were multiple voices or minds of some sort speaking through her. It was not so off putting as it was unusual.
“We would like you to appreciate the place you have come to tonight,” the resounding voice continued. “We are extremely pleased with your progress. And your progress is assisting the progress of all in this realm. As you lift yourself, all are lifted.”
There was a pause, as if to give me time to digest the information coming forth.
“We want you to know that you are extremely blessed. We would like you to recognize this. We would like you to carry this feeling forward in the journey before you.” The one I saw as Angie, who now sounded like a collective of consciousnesses, looked down briefly.
When she looked up again, her face was like a new person, similar but bright and youthful. “We want you to remember who you are, so that all others may do so as well. When you remembered your childhood, you found just that feeling. The feeling of remembrance. The feeling of your own divine birthright. Do you understand this?”
I nodded in a mesmerized way and uttered, “I think I do.”
“Do not think,” the voices almost scolded. “Know. Know yourself in a new way. Know yourself in your true way. Know who you are, know what you are and know why you have come forth. We are with you always. We are extremely pleased to be with you now.”
A shift came over Angie and her whole body dropped in a subtle way, as if let loose from the hold of something. As if some transmission had just ended. And she spoke in her own voice again, “Do you understand this message, Troy?”
“I don’t know what to say,” I replied.
“Ah,” Angie bowed her head once again. “It is as it should be. You are well on your way, you know. And when you know it yourself, you will answer in that knowing.”
“Ok, I know it’s not a time for questions, as you said, but I must ask something of you,” I pleaded.
“Yes, I know what it is,” her face returned to brightness and a warm grin crossed her as she looked at me. “You have done well in your first three trials, exceeding our expectations. You have rested well, and if it is not too much for you, we would like you to begin your fourth trial now.”
“You know just what I want,” I grunted with some sarcasm. “I suppose I do feel quite rested, even with an unusual night of dreaming and half sleeping.”
“No, you have slept for a week, Troy,” Angie laughed, even as my face became aghast. “But do not fret, for there is no time lost. No time that matters, anyway. And you are well recovered for it. Are you ready then to move on to your next point of attendance?”
“If I were to say no, would it matter?” I joked.
Again she laughed and remarked, “Oh, Troy, I do believe you are catching on. It’s all a game, after all, isn’t it? All this living. It should be more fun! More joyous! Remember?”
“Right,” I lightened up even more, recalling my recent lessons in joy. “You are right. I really should just have more fun, right? Except that I have no idea what’s coming next, and…” I started to trail off. “How could I find such a wonderful feeling of joy in that dream state and now feel I have lost it?”
“You worry too much, Troy. You are simply human, after all,” Angie calmed me. “There is no reason to be hard on yourself. You are learning and that is wonderful. The child who learns to walk does not get on her feet and run all at once. They stumble and fall until they get the balance of it. You will find that feeling of joy again and more and more, if you will allow it. Relax into it. Do not worry about what is to come. For that is the magic of life, after all. The excitement of the newness of every new moment yet to come. Without having to know the whole story all at once. What would be the fun in that?”
The woman who was hosting my ascension trials laughed most heartily then. It was quite infectious and I found myself chuckling, too.
“Yes, I see that,” I said. “No point in knowing the ending without experiencing everything on the way there.”
“Yes, you could say that,” said the winged woman before me. “But I would add that there is no ending. And that’s a great thing, too.”
I didn’t quite follow her on that one, but I let it wash over me. Sometimes you can only learn what you are ready to comprehend. And I sensed that there was still much to learn from Angie and Jaran and all of the winged people of Starhome.
“So are you ready?” she exclaimed.
“Sure,” I grinned in spite of myself. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
And as I was transported through the magic portal to my new trial, I learned quite quickly what could happen.
I began falling. Endlessly.
Great, I thought. Guess I asked for it…
“
Thanks so much for reading.
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Blessings to you,
Matthew