EA#26:
Read From the Beginning or the start of Trial Two or Three or Four
The Mountain in the Clouds, Part Twenty-Nine
“
“Welcome back,” said the familiar voice of Angie, my host.
“Thank you,” I muttered through the dust and smoke in the air.
I had rematerialized in Starhome, back in that central plaza in which I had stepped into the first portal to my trial of discernment. To me it now seemed so long ago that I had begun these trials of ascension. To me now, it still seemed I had no idea why I was even doing this.
“How did your fourth trial go, young Troy?” Angie asked.
“Well, I think,” I began. “No, not think. I know it went well. Because I moved beyond a place of thinking and into a place of knowing. I learned to trust what was coming to me. At first it seemed odd, to hear such words in my head. I didn’t want to believe it. But they felt as though more than my own thoughts, more profound, more truthful.”
“Yes,” said my host. “You are learning to trust your own connection to the divine. That is a wonderful thing and a major step to take in ascension. You have a question?”
“Yes,” I admitted. “What is the ascension all about anyway? Why do I go through these challenging trials? What do I get? What purpose does it all serve?”
“You wish to know what is at the end of the journey,” Angie stated more than asked of me.
“Yes,” I said.
“I cannot say,” my host replied. “Do not dismay at this answer. It is a good answer. And I will tell you why. For it is only well that you do not know the end, for what would be the purpose in getting there if you knew? And how would it change your course if you did know? No, it is far better to trust the journey along the way. All that you need to, wish to experience will happen as you go. And you know what else? When you reach the end… you will find that there is a new beginning. And a new end after that.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that at the moment. I let it sink in a little. Then I asked, “Still, is there some greater purpose to ascension? Is there some reason I am to do this work?”
“Work?” Angie sounded perplexed. “I would not call this work. These are great lessons in advancing your consciousness and in turn all the consciousness of everyone and everything. For when you shift, All That Is shifts. When you expand, All That Is expands. When you ascend, All That Is ascends. All is part of the whole, all are part of one whole of creation. So your part is also for the greater good of the whole.”
“But what is the greater good?” I pleaded for more.
Angie looked directly at me and said, “The greater good is the upliftment of all. It is the rising above darkness. It is the returning to the light. It is the knowing who you are. It is knowing yourselves as part of the divine. It is being in the field of love itself. It is doing, being, and acting upon what is of benefit to the whole, rather than doing for the ego whims created in fear, lack and darkness. It is acting without the need to control. It is letting go all control to the divine. The believing in the divine and knowing and trusting in the divine.”
“Ok,” I said. “I get that. And I don’t at the same time. I don’t know what that means in practice. What that means for me. Or my fellow humans and other voltar of Paelstor. And what is the divine? What part do the gods play in this? What part do you play?”
“Ah, so full of questions today,” Angie smiled. “That is good. It is good that you wish to know more. But it is not time for you to know all. It is not possible for you at this time to know all that you wish to know. You must continue to live and trust in the lessons to come. That is why your recent trial in trust was so important. It is about letting go of the reigns that you, and others, wish to hold so tightly. Leaving the need to know all the answers aside. Following the guidance as it comes, moment by moment. Trusting that all is well and that all is working out perfectly and as it should. Trusting that you will arrive where you need to when you need to and that there is no place that you are that isn’t where you are meant to be. Do you understand?”
I shook my head more in amazement and wonder than disagreement, and I said, “I do. And I understand that I will get no more answers from you today.”
“Are you joking with me, Troy?” Angie lighted.
“Wasn’t much of a joke, but yes,” I returned. “After all, I am to be joyful as well as trusting at this point, am I not?”
“Indeed,” Angie nodded softly. “Humor will go much further than you know. Maybe you should try it more.”
“So what now?” I queried. “Back to the baths? A little break? Maybe some sleep? I need to know!” I tried to act demanding.
“I suggested you try humor, but I would not force it,” Angie chided me. “But there are no requirements of you at this time. In fact, there never have been. It has always been up to you what to do. It is always your choice. Do whatever it is you wish to now. And when and if you wish to move on to the next trial, you may.”
“These trials are of my choosing?” I begged of my host. “I am not sure I would have chosen such challenging ways to spend my time.”
“Then why are you here?” said Angie. “You must have agreed to stay and be part of this process, or you would not be experiencing it, no?”
“How it is that you get me at every turn?” I shook my head. “You are very wise.”
“How do you think I got to be doing what I am doing?” concluded my host.
“Well, I will occupy my time, I suppose,” I offered. “And when I am ready to continue I will seek you out.”
“Very well,” nodded Angie, who folded her hands into her robe, turned, and walked away.
Where to, I thought to myself. Though I had considered the baths again to relax, I really wasn’t feeling called to them. I felt like I wanted newness. I wanted to explore Starhome further.
And so I did.
I walked through the city, admiring the sights. Stark white buildings of illustrious stone craftsmanship. Colonnades spilling over with flowering vines. Gilded candelabras lighting the way in the twilight haze.
There was a crispness to the air, a slight chill from the snow mountains all around the city. We were at great heights, after all, in those tall peaks. Yet it did not feel as cold as it should, it seemed to me. I did not feel the need, in fact had never, to wear more than my simple garb of pants and tunic. Not once did I feel an overwhelming sense of frigidity overcome me in freezing discomfort.
Odd, I thought to myself. Must be part of the magic of this place. I had become accustomed to the fact that anything was possible here. In fact, I was beginning to count on it.
So I continued my walk. At first I saw small handfuls of the winged men and women of the city going about early evening walks before settling in for the night. Soon I began to notice that the meager crowd grew even sparser, until there came a point at which there were no one at all. Just me and the city, the creeping in of the night sky, and the wonderful, wispy breeze kissing my face.
At last I came to rest at a place that must have been the edge of town. There was a long fenced balcony at the end of an empty plaza, jutting off into the mountain air. I went over to have a look. There was a magnificent view from there, as I propped myself on folded arms and leaned over the railing.
There before me was a dazzling scene of trees. But what was unusual about these trees is how much I could perceive of them. I saw the trunks shooting skyward like thunderous things, and branches hurtling above in a canopy spray of wood, a light sprinkling of leaves. But what struck me more was my view of their roots, these mighty trees. I could make out their roots spilling out from below in all directions, as tendrils or feelers of some deep sea beast. And above the trees and branches and leaves there lay an energy field of brilliance. It appeared as the light of the sun, shining forth in bedazzling rays of golden white.
As I stared at these golden trees, I saw a world transformed before my eyes. There was in one moment a beacon of peace, love, and light… and in the unforeseeable next moment I watched as the ground dried up at the roots, the trees leaned and cracked, and the glow emanating from the leaves turned to ashen darkness. Then the vision I was seeing was caught in a flame that seemed to burn away as if a page in a book.
When the sight was gone, I shook myself out of my reverie. Part of me reminded the rest of me that I was crazy. How could I have seen this things? I have been working so hard at knowing who I am, yet I do not even know where I stand. I am in the cold mountain tops of some frozen range and there were no trees, no roots, no shining victories here. No wonder it all went up in flames.
Please, gods, spare me the trouble. What do you need me to get from this message?
Is it something to do with my next trial?
Yes, said that voice from all around and inside all at once.
Yes, it has everything to do with it.
“
So begins the Fifth Trial of the Mountain in the Clouds.
Thanks so much for reading.
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Blessings to you,
Matthew