EA#27:
Read From the Beginning or the start of Trial Two or Three or Four
The Mountain in the Clouds, Part Thirty
“
The days and nights passed by. I did nothing.
I sat in my room. I walked the city. I relaxed in the baths. I ate. I drank tea. They had such great tea in Starhome. Not big drinkers of ale, though. But I didn’t miss that. I felt like I wanted to keep my head clear. Maybe for the first time in my life.
But I did not continue on to my next trial. I don’t know why. I just felt like I needed some space. To incorporate what I had already gone through. I felt like the first four tests had been thrust upon me in such rapid succession that I have not really caught my breath.
And somehow I had the feeling that the trials to come would be the hardest ones yet. I don’t know why. Just an inner knowing suggested it and I couldn’t shake it.
I read some books, too. I found a whole library of tomes and scrolls on the edge of town, not far from the balcony where I’d had my vision of the trees. I was impressed at the range of knowledge and wisdom stored in those stacks. There were volumes from every era, every language, and every region of Paelstor.
They covered the gamut from the wars of Chaos to the schools of magic, from the golden age of the elven people through their fall, and from little known eras lost in time in which gods and dragons were the sole rulers of the realm. These last ones I could not make out, as the language was far too archaic. Mostly they were written in runes, but even the transcriptions made little sense to me.
But this kept me busy. I was always a lover of books. And I could have spent the rest of my years in these halls, reading every day.
I found some interesting ones regarding Starhome, or Mitstarhomvalla, as it is officially called by the people here. These tales told of a city far older than man, a city that had dwelt among these mountain heights, watching over the lands for ages on end. I couldn’t find any explanation as to why this was so, but I got the impression that these winged people of the mountains had been witness to all that had happened in Paelstor for longer than I or any could have imagined.
And I searched endlessly in these stories to learn more about the ascension. There was mention of it here and there, but no specifics about the process, how to succeed, or what the result of it was. There was even a vivid illustration of an ascension taking place. It showed a woman standing on an altar, with winged people bowing to the earth all around her. The woman was being lifted in rays of golden, white light towards a totem that stood before her. The totem also shone with light spreading in all directions from its pinnacle, but the most concentrated portion of its energy was being directed at the woman. The scene looked bright as day, but there were clearly stars in a dark sky at the top of the illustration.
I gazed at this image for some time, lost in a reverie. Is this what I would undertake as well? What will happen to me when I do?
Yet I was dismayed to not learn anything more about my trials in ascension. Perhaps that is the way it is meant to be. Perhaps the winged men and women of Starhome purposely kept the trials out of the books so that those like me who go through it have to fully engaged in the process, without aid or assistance.
Still, it would have been nice to have a preview.
Alas, there was little more to do to occupy my time. I mean, I could keep reading. But I had come to the mountain in the clouds for a reason. Well, I had come here on the suggestion of my friend, Jaran. But once here, and once I decided to endure the trials, I had dedicated myself to completing this ascension process.
Gods know why, to this day…
Ahem, anyways, time to move forward, I suppose. Nice pause. Now work.
“Angie?” I said, surprised to see my host standing at the door of the library. “I was just going to find you. How’d you know I was here?”
“You have been here for hours, they tell me,” Angie smiled.
“Right,” I said sheepishly. “That makes sense. Must be easy to track me around town. The only one with no wings. Like a sore thumb.”
“A sore thumb?” Angie seemed truly perplexed.
“It’s a saying where I come from,” I tried to explain. “I stand out like a sore thumb. With no wings and all.”
My host still did not seem to register the idea, but said “Ok. Well I have come to check on you. I know that you have been taking some time. And that is fine. We all want you rested for what is to come. But we would like you to continue soon. Do you think you are ready?”
“Yes,” I answered. “I am ready for my next trial. What’s this one to be about?”
“Hate,” she said dreadfully serious. “Love and hate. Are you still ready?”
With a bit more trepidation I told her, “Yes, I am still ready to do it. If that is the trial, and that is what’s next, then I suppose I have no choice.”
“You always have a choice,” Angie reminded me. “But if you do wish to continue the ascension process, then you are right about this. You have no choice that this is the next trial.”
“Wonderful answer,” I joked. “Fine, I choose to continue. Send me to the land of love and hate.”
“Very well,” said the winged woman. “Hold on, this one might be a bumpy landing.”
The portal opened and in I went, tumbling through vortices of swirling energies. Unlike my other travels into what Angie had called “Neverwhere,” this one felt longer. I spun and sped through the myriad colored masses swarming before my eyes. My body reeled this way and that. I reached out to grip for something, anything, or even just direct my course. Nothing helped. I just kept spinning. On and on.
At last I dropped out of the portal. But I didn’t land on my feet. In fact, I didn’t see anything below me. I was falling through some clouds. The air was frigid and damp.
Oh gods, I thought, didn’t I already do the falling test of trust? What’s this?
The winds ripped at my face as I hurtled towards some unknown end. Then it was known. Sort of. A formless shape became visible below me. It looked like an endless swath of brown. I’d have thought it a desert but it didn’t look like sand, more like rock. But I wasn’t even sure of that.
Until I was. After several moments freefall I found myself staring face to face with the end of my life. I saw the ground rushing up to me, hard as rock and not at all forgiving looking.
Gods help me, I prayed. Have I come this far only to die now?
I landed with a loud splat. It was a peculiar sound, almost funny. I realized in the thinking of this thought that I must still be alive. My body was reeling and I had a severe case of the spins, but I was alive. I couldn’t stand without wanting to fall over, but I was alive. I wanted to hurl… I did hurl…
Ok, my apologies. That was not expected. But I am sure it can be forgiven, understood even in those circumstances.
Finally I came to my feet and shook my body out to ease the kinks. Surprisingly I didn’t even hurt that badly, considering the long drop and the rough surface on which I had landed.
Now, where exactly was I, anyway? I mused as I looked about.
Gods help me if I could tell you. All I could see was a barren landscape before me. Rocky earth, mud brown but dried. Endless miles in every direction. Jagged cracks sprawling every which way like tendrils of vines. Not a tree in sight, not a bush or a grass. No hill, no valley. No animal. No life. Nobody. Nothing.
So, I thought to myself, I have been many places in Neverwhere, but this is truly Nowhere, isn’t it?
Where was I?
What next?
That voice that was not so much in my head but all around, but in a way was in my head, if that makes sense… it said to me thus:
“There lies before you a land dried of life. Below you there lies water, the bringer of life. There are two rivers you may seek below this surface. Each river feeds its own kind of life, and it will be your choice to decide which one you will foster. We are certain that you will make a wise choice. Be in your discernment. Be strong. Be joyous. Trust what comes.”
“Thank you for the tip!” I shouted. “Whatever it means,” I muttered.
Ok, I continued to think. What next?
“
Thanks so much for reading.
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Blessings to you,
Matthew