Old Model: Fight or Flight

By now most people are likely familiar with the idea of the “fight or flight” response. It’s been discussed in various settings, from anatomy and physiology classes to conversations about the stress response.

The model is based on one portion of the nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is dubbed the “fight or flight” response because the body prepares for one of those two options when faced with danger.

During this state, pupils widen, blood pressure increases, and the passages in the lungs open to allow more oxygen to flow. These sorts of functions are ideal in “preparing for the worst,” so to speak. Ready to fight or run. (Obviously, continuing this state too long can be harmful, as higher blood pressure will put stress on the body.)

But the fight or flight response is ideal, as most examples go, when you are face to face with something like a wild tiger. Since the tiger represents a threat to your very life, either fighting it off or running away are two logical choices.

The theory always reminds us that in the modern world we don’t see many tigers. If at all, they’re probably in a zoo. Behind bars. Not much of a threat. The unfortunate part is that our body still has this built in defense system of fight or flight; only it gets activated when we face modern stresses such as bills, medical problems, and relationship issues. And these can be constant.

Freeze: the Updated Version

There was one update I had heard to this system and it’s quite simple. If a threatening or stressful situation triggers the fight or flight response, the question comes up if there may not be other options to choose from.

And there is. It’s called the “freeze” response. In a way, it may be a subset of “flight,” but instead of running you just do nothing in your fear.

I doubt that this one is quite as common, but it is possible. Instead of fighting off the danger or threat, or running and hiding from it, it’s possible to just stop in place and freeze. (Like I said, this probably doesn’t come up for most people. But I’m sure you can picture it.)

In the tiger example, I’d assume most people would run. Is this still true of bills, relationships, and health issues today?

Many other people will put up a fight in such a situation. The fight response may be lauded against a tiger, but can get mixed reviews. People who fight illness are called brave. People who fight their spouse in a divorce are called bitter.

And there are those who might just halt completely when faced with stress. “Just let the tiger eat me (or whatever the consequence may be). I’m just too afraid to even move.”

But the addition of “freeze” got me thinking… are there yet more choices? Higher choices?

But wait!

Are We Leaving Something Out?

Yes. And it’s very important and often underappreciated part of our makeup. Worth noting here.

The other portion of the nervous system is the parasympathetic system, or “rest and digest.” In this state, basically the opposite effects happen to the body. Pupils narrow, blood pressure decreases, and the lungs relax, etc.

The very necessary part of this is in undoing the stress of the fight or flight system. We all need time to stop, eat, rest, and relax.

A problem with modern life is that we often don’t value this aspect of ourselves and most people rarely give it any time. But if you live in a stressful, fight or flight, high blood pressure, on-edge way all the time, you are likely going to find trouble coming up in your life in some way or other.

So we need that down time. The time for fun and play, food and enjoyment. In fact, I think this is why so many countries and cultures build in a siesta time after lunch, for instance. Eat, then literally stop to “rest and digest.” Why can’t America follow suit? (Oh yeah, we have so much to do, so much to prove. We can’t stop or we won’t be the best. But are we even?)

I feel that everything in life should be in balance, like the four elements (wink, nod to “Avatar: The Last Airbender”). Ideally I’d suggest giving equal time to dealing with so-called stressful situations in the fight or flight mode (we have to work and pay the bills after all); as well as to the downtime rest and digest setting. It should be 50/50.

My Addition: Forgive and Forget

Finally, I wish to offer my addition to our ways of responding to the world. It’s going to be new. It may challenge you. You may balk at it. I don’t care.

In many ways this idea comes from a higher perspective, a heightened consciousness. And I do believe humankind and planet Earth are moving into this state, slowly but surely. The second coming of Christ and all, where we move into new ways of operating not based on the old systems but higher energies of love and acceptance.

So the new concept I propose is another response to stress: “Forgive and Forget.”

That’s right. The old “turn the other cheek.”

Now, just as with the old teaching, I am not saying that if someone hits you that you do not protect yourself. Don’t let yourself come to harm to uphold some spiritual ideal.

Still, if you can put it forward in your thinking and keep the vibration of “forgive and forget” first, you may find that your natural responses will change. Pre-pave the way. Envision the stressful situations you anticipate with kindness and compassion. Instead of yelling at your spouse or coworker, running from your bills or health problems, embrace them with love.

That’s really what it boils down to. Finding a more loving response for yourself and those around you. Deal with any danger first, but bless the person or situation as you walk (not run) away. Forgive any wrongdoings and then forget the whole thing.

The problem is many people hold onto grudges, or regret choices they have made in life. “I wish I had done that differently.” or “I am still mad at that person who wronged me.” But what you are really doing is continuing to hold onto this “negative” memory and harming yourself. Your anger doesn’t hurt the other person, it hurts you. Your regrets keep you from moving forward and fully living your life.

So forgive and forget. Bless and love. Find kindness and compassion. Do this one day at a time, one event at a time, one person at a time. And in time—you may find—that your life and the lives of those around you transforms. And like dominoes falling in line, you change the world.

Thank you for reading. Please comment and share. And remember to choose “forgive and forget” when stresses come up in your life.

Many blessings to all,

Matthew