WCD#14:

Definitions

~reactivity, noun
1 the state or power of being reactive or the degree to which a thing is reactive.
2 the extent to which a nuclear reactor deviates from a steady state.

This is the first set of definitions that my Google search revealed. I find them both fitting for this post.

The first one is really more to the point I will be getting at: about being reactive to people and events in our lives.

But the second definition is also indicative of some of the explosive, almost nuclear-type reactions we humans can have with certain emotions, like anger.

With that said, let me get to the crux of this…

Reactivity of the Core Emotion

I’d wager that most humans at some point, perhaps more often than we’d like to admit, have emotional reactions that we regret afterwards.

Now, I’m not into holding regrets and don’t advise it, but what I mean is that we sometimes respond to people and things in our lives in ways that we would not do from a clearer, calmer state of mind.

In other words, there are times in which our mind literally goes out the window. We may quite literally act “out of our minds.” We may say or do things that we would not normally do from a “saner” place.

Many people have triggers, and when pressed it’s as if the floodgates are open and no matter what, that energy is pouring out. It’s as if a flip has been switched and once someone is acting in this “other” way, this reactive mode, this place of “I’m in a different mindset, and now that I am here it makes sense, even though my normal sane mindset would never act like this or agree to it, but here I am and here I go, doing whatever awful thing…”

For me I do have the tendency to release anger in unexpected bursts. I don’t like this about myself, but it happens from time to time. I admit it willingly, though I’d rather not, to be open and honest in this discussion.

For example, a simple thing might trigger my anger, and when it’s let loose it truly feels as if I am not present but rather that I am watching some alternate, angry version of myself. Often nothing will stop it until the emotion is released, though I am cognizant enough most times to not let it get utterly out of hand. Shouting, cursing, hitting a pillow may suffice. Then I return to apologize for my behavior and make amends to any who may have been affected by my outburst. (Thank God I do not get violent. I have no ability to cause harm in that way…)

But I do not like this anger. And surely many people deal with this. With anger or some other emotion, whether fear, anxiety, depression, worry, hate, jealousy, etc. Once the emotion is on full force, it may feel as though there is no stopping it.

This could become a severe problem in extreme situations. For instance, what of the case of physical violence towards others, murder, etc.? When that door is open in someone, who’s going to stop it? This could account for the terrible acts of violence and repeated offenses that can occur in human experience. After the mind accepts these occurrences having been done once, it is far easier to do again…

Refusing To Let Reactivity Rule

So what’s the answer?

Well, Eckhart Tolle has a great way of beginning to address this. In “The Power of Now” he speaks directly about this topic, identifying what I’m calling “reactivity” as the “pain body.” This, for Tolle, is a part of our energy body that holds pain and hurt and therefore is very reactive to the world outside it. And when the pain body takes over, the person is out of their mind and may act in ways completely other than they normally would.

His solution to this is the same as any of his solutions: the power of presence. The idea being that instead of fighting against or attacking that part of yourself that is reactive in the pain body, you become totally present in those states. This can be challenging, as the author himself admits. He suggests that even a good friend or partner who is aware of this can help be there with you, ready to be present but not willing to react.

The power of the now, as Tolle explains, dissolves the pain body because the pain body or reactivity in us is really responding to our past. In other words, traumas and past events that have had major impacts on us get stuck in our energy field and when activated by the pain body bring up all that old baggage and hurt.

So to truly tap into the present moment, the place you are in, the breath in your lungs, the feeling in your body, the sounds and sights around you… This moment of presence will take you out of the past, out of those old grievances, and scare the pain body away. The pain body prefers to act in illusion and deception, tricking you into letting it reign. But if you shine your light of presence on it, the reactive emotions you express will retreat.

Continue to do this process and you will take steps to overcoming the issue altogether. The more you stay present, the less these things will even have the chance to crop up.

I get it… it’s easier said than done… much easier said than done…

But for the sake of yourself and those around you, those dear to you, those you love, nay, the whole world… I urge you to try. Try to begin this process of unraveling your reactivity and not let your emotions rule you in ways you’d rather not.

Be present, allow the emotions to move through you and out of you, hold a strong love and compassion for yourself and forgive your mistakes and flaws. Be kind, don’t rewind and relive past grievances. Live in the now. Be light and free, inspired and joyous. Roll with the punches, take life with a sense of peace and ease, laugh things off, don’t be too serious. Make it a game, have fun, be the best character you can be in the play that is your life.

Every day in every way you can take steps to overturn this reactivity that has the potential to go nuclear. Refuse to let reactivity rule.

Be the true you and don’t let some “out of mind” version of you take over.

Be well and be at peace.

 

Thank you for reading. And thanks to Eckhart Tolle for the teachings he has given us all and the inspiration for this post.

Please comment with your thoughts and experiences and do share this post with those who need to work through their reactivity.

 

Many profound blessings to you all,

Matthew